Adjusting

It’s Saturday, and Joe’s surgery was Monday. Somehow that feels both very recent and very far away. The whole week has been one long stretch of adjusting. Adjusting to his pain. Adjusting to his limits. Adjusting to the way our routines have shifted. Adjusting to the fact that everything takes more time and more energy than it used to.

And somewhere in the middle of all that adjusting, I hurt my back. Not a dramatic injury. Just the kind that sneaks up on you when you’re lifting, twisting, reaching, helping, doing too much. It’s the kind of pain that makes every movement feel heavier. The kind that reminds you that your body has its own limits too.

The strange part is that mentally and emotionally, I’m okay. My foot surgery prepared me for this. I know what recovery looks like. I know what pain looks like. I know what exhaustion feels like. I know how quickly life can shrink down to mobility aids, medication schedules, and figuring out how to get comfortable on a couch.

But even with all that experience, I am more exhausted than I thought was possible.

It’s a different kind of tired. Not just physical. Not just mental. It’s the kind of tired that settles into your bones and makes you feel like you’re moving through thick air. Every task feels bigger. Every step feels slower. Every day feels longer.

I keep reminding myself that this is an adjustment period. That we’re both learning how to navigate this new setup. That our home, our routines, our bodies, and our energy levels are all in transition. But the truth is that right now, I’m tired. Deep tired. The kind that doesn’t go away with sleep.

And still, I’m okay. Just tired. Just adjusting. Just trying to make it through each day without falling apart.

This week has been a lot. And I’m feeling all of it.